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March 2019

  • PRESIDENT PENCE DECLINES TO RUN?
  • Antonio Soares (R-AL) announces 2020 presidential run, "Keep America Great"
  • Oh god damnit, the Democrats are *already* protesting

April 2019

  • Will Soares already nominate VP? Sven "Ironhand" Nordson (R-ME) current favourite in polls

May 2019

  • David de Cool (D-WA) announces 2020 presidential bid
  • Sven Norson officially confirmed as Soares' VP pick
  • Antonio VS. Antonio? Antonio Telvita (R-NY) enters Republican race

June 2019

  • Soares calls Democratic party "absolutely cucked" in speech

July 2019

  • Lukas Polon (R-MI) quietly announces his candidacy

August 2019

  • Late to the game, Matthew Colmac (D-CA) announces Democratic candidacy

September 2019

  • Editorial: Why Both Colmac and Soares are dangerous extremists - 538
  • Telvita shoots up in the polls after prison speech

October 2019

Republican Presidential Debate

  • Soares calls Telvita "liberal pile of garbage"
  • Telvita keeps calm demeanor throughout debate
  • Telvita slips up, accidentally calls North Korea a friend
  • Lukas makes a fool of himself

November 2019

Democratic Presidential Debate

  • Colmac punches debate podium
  • De Cool putting on sunglasses becomes meme

I DONT WANT TO WRITE BORING PRIMARY BITS OK

  • Colmac and Soares win the primaries.

March 2020

  • Colmac announces controversial gay rights activist Evan Pelli (D-TX) as Vice Presidential nominee

July 2020

  • De Cool and Telvita announce Independent candidacy for president!
  • DE COOL: OUR ONLY HOPE AGAINST EXTREMISM?

August 2020

  • How De Cool could win the election - 538
  • De Cool polling ahead in Washington

September 2020

  • Colmac and Soares have extended Twitter spat
  • De Cool now in the lead in 5 states
  • Soares on Twitter: De Cool is simply a fake name to make himself look less childish.

October 2020

  • De Cool/Telvita ticket passes threshold to be in debates
  • First Debate Highlights: De Cool keeps calm while Soares and Colmac spat
  • Second Debate Highlights: Soares literally fucking throws the podium into the audience... and so did Colmac
  • Third Debate cancelled

November 2020

  • 3-way polling tie for election!
  • ELECTION GOES TO HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES

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