Cyclops was a sad angsty mutant who couldn't look at anyone without killing them. Nobody knew why he wanted to be called Cyclops, so everyone just called him by his given name, Scott. Scott was basically blind, so he had a crush on the only girl who ever talked to him, Jean Grey.

Jean was a happy mutant who could move things... WITH HER MIND! She used this ability to tease Scott. When Scott was home alone, she would make his things move around. Then, since he couldn't look for his things without destroying them, he'd lay in bed and cry. Jean was a very mean young woman and she loved it.

One day, Jean and Scott were sitting in the class taught by their least favorite teacher, Dr. Xavier. Dr. Xavier was a crippled douchebag who could read people's minds very easily. Since they couldn't hide that they hated him, Dr. X always made life difficult for Jean and Scott.

On that day, Dr. X was giving Jean and Scott twice as much homework as the rest of the class combined. Scott thought this was so unfair. Dr. X said "I know what you're thinking, Scott. So what are you going to do about it?" Scott opened his eyes and glared at Dr. X, and Dr. X died in a crimson inferno. The whole class cheered.

Jean was so happy that she gave Scott a big wet kiss. Scott cried tears of joy. "I'm so relieved," he said. "I thought I'd be in the friendzone forever!" "Oh, woops," said Jean. "Don't read to much in to it. I still like Hank. He's way sexier than you'll ever be... that fine blue fur and huge muscles... and he's so smart!"

So, that day when he got home, Scott looked in the mirror and killed himself.

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