Shreksus Christ was born in 420 A.D. as the biological son of two Redditists, a meme dealer and a stripper. Shrek lived his life as a humanitarian, healing the sick and giving them Dank memes and Polandballs. He was hung in public by the Youtubepoopers in 489 A.D., at the age of 69. He rose from his grave 7 days later and chose his five disciples to spread the truth. It would only be in 1337 that Kanye would choose one person, Lukehammed, to create the final part of Shrekslam.
Shrek in literature
Besides the holy book of Shrekslam, the Kuikskope, other pieces of literature were made in honor of Shrek. One piece of writing, entitled "Shrek is Love", was written anonymously in 1969. It goes as follows:
I was only nine years old
I loved Shrek so much, I owned all the movies and merchandise
I pray to Shrek every night, thanking him for the life I have been given
"Shrek is love", I say, "Shrek is life"
My dad hears me and calls me a faggot
He is obviously jealous of my devotion to Shrek
I called him a cunt
He slaps me and sends me to my room
I am crying now, because my face hurts
I go into my bed and it is very cold
I feel a warmth moving towards me
I fell something touch me
I am so happy
He whispers into my ear, "This is my swamp"
He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands and puts me on my hands and knees
I spread my ass cheeks for Shrek
He penetrates my butthole
It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek
I can feel my anus tearing as my eyes start to water
I push against his force
I want to please Shrek
He roars a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his love
My dad walks in
Shrek looks him deep in the eyes and says, "It's all ogre now"
Shrek leaves through my window
Shrek is love, Shrek is life
This is the most popular piece of literature involving Shrek's name to date.