The Book of Kuikskope (Sometimes stylized as Kuik'skop) is the central religious book in the religion of Shrekslam. It has sold over fifty-nine billion copies over time.
The Kuikskop is split into three different chapters: The Headshot, The Noscope, and The Triple.
The headshot states that the Earth formed 69 hundred years ago. It all started when Kanye West created the sun and moon on the first day. Then he created the oceans on the second day, animals on the fourth, weed on the firth, and on the sixth he created a man named Daniel. Daniel was happy for a while, smoking blunts and drinking Mountain Dew from Soda plants. But after a while he got bored and realized he had a penis. So he asked Kanye for assistance. Kanye gave him assistance, and Kanye gave him a stripper named Oprah. They had sex every hour of every day. But then one day, Oprah disobeyed one of Kanye's orders (do not pick up the Doritos fruit) and ate the fruit. Kanye got pissed and punished them by banning them from using Condoms and made it so that way Oprah and Daniel would have kids every time they had sex. His commands worked, and they had seventeen billion kids. Daniel hung himself, while Oprah died trying to suck Daniel's dead cock and choked on it. The seventeen billion kids started killing each other and the number was decreased to twenty. Many generations later, and many people later, the worldwide population rose to 420,000. Kanye was yet again disappointed with the people, as they kept using condoms and did not smoke weed every day. So he called one good man, Bainah, and told him to make a huge ship out of Doritos to save his family. He did, and he and his family survived a flood of Semen. Much later, when the world population was 690,000, there was bad treatment of the chosen people of Kanye by another group called the 4channers. One man was born, and was then put on the river Rekt. He floated to the palace of the 4channers and was accepted as their adoptive child, with his Shrekslamist identity being hidden. This person was Chedomoses. He revolted against the 4channers and summoned seven plagues: Bernie Sanders, Mountain Dew Flood, GRAND DAD 7 swarm, Scatman rain, Necromany of the dead memes, Noscopes, and DJ Khaleed. The chosen people were freed, and wandered in the Mexican desert for 42 years until Kanye gave Chedomoses the 6 and 9/10th Commandments. They read:
- Thou shalt harm the infidels
- Thou can only harm infidels via noscopes or 360s.
- A good follower must smoke weed every Thursday and must celebrate Smokemas on the 20th of June.
- Exceptions include those who cannot access a steady supply of marijuana. Doritos can be a substitute.
- Mountain Dew is a holy drink and should only be drunk on religious occasions.
- Who's been drawing dicks?
- Joel drew dicks.
- If your teacher asks, blame Joel.
- If there are no Joels to blame, blame Joel.
- A child of Kanye must have seven grand dads
- You must respect your grand dads.
- You must have the most respect for your seventh one.
- Dead memes shall be treated like live memes.
- Exceptions include memes involving amphibians, lizards, and reptiles.
- Exceptions to the previous rule are memes involving the figure of Grooox, Axolot.
Fast forward a thousand years, the lord and savior Shreksus Christ was born in 420 A.D. He was born from the body of a stripper though his parents were Kanye. He was raised a Redditor until the YTP army, the ruling power of the area, almost killed his flesh family. He was later talked to by Kanye about his messiah position and Shrek made good use of his powers. He spread his love and memes across the United States until the Youtubepoopers, lead by Trump, took him down and hung him in 489 A.D. He rose from the dead 6 days, 6 hours, and 6 minutes after he was hung. He said one last word to his 6 disciples and told them to kill the treaterous infadels and forcefeed them DAT BOI and Happy Days memes until they bled. (More to come)