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If you are a delicate snowflake, then don't read this.

That's right. We're doing the whole Bible. Hopefully. (By the way, put your name when you stop writing a section so that we can tell when it changes writer)


Genesis 1

Okay, so there's, like, this God guy, and he made the world. You with me? Great, first the world was pretty god-damn boring and dark. So God decided "hey i guess i should turn the lights on" and he turned the lights on. Well, half of them. Then he went swimming, and half the water went everywhere and turned into the sky. Then he built walls around the swimming pools, and called the rest land, because when you're diving you shouldn't land there. Then he said "that's pretty neat", but moss grew in the tiles around the pools. Then he played sports, but two of his balls accidentally landed in the sky. He built a zoo, but all the animals escaped. So he cloned himself and the clone, and told them to get jiggy with it. -Coolmax260

Genesis 2

So, uh, yeah. He made this guy like "Adam", and, ahem, Adam felt lonely...? Yeah? So he took one of his limbs and made this Eve girl. Pretty cute. They were, like, blind, and told not to eat a random fruit out of a tree. And a random snake came up to them and says, "Hey man just eat it it's good for you" and Adam ate it and Eve ate it so they can see and realized that they were naked so they sewn some leaves on their ding-dongs and God came down and the people were afraid and they hid from them. *Whew* -PolandballFan8886

Genesis 3

And then, God came down, and said, "Why do you have leaves on your ding-dongs?" And then they blamed it on each other, including the snake. God punished them, and Adam and Eve got a sons called Cain and Abel. One kills the other, and somehow God heard Abel, or was it Cain's? blood crying. I mean, are you serious mate? -PolandballFan8886 (Again)

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